"All we had left was 200 lbs of hunter sausage and our pride. And that's how we won the battle against the vegetarians."-General Smokey Lee, 1829, Fort Sausage

WWSD: What Would Saul Do?

What happened? Where am I? How did I get here? We'll tell you all three.

You said you'd like some tofu. And just like that, you've found yourself in a precarious situation. You've made a choice only a little schoolgirl could appreciate, and now you're in the woods - literally, figuratively and every other way. To get out, you're going to have to show wisdom, savvy and a good bit of gritty manliness. Think you've got what it takes? We'll see.

There's no going back. As you make your way through the woods, you come to a fork in the road with a sign that shows four paths. Which do you choose?